Thursday, June 25, 2009

Pizza Hut Minus Pizza = The Hut. And Pizza. Hunh?

Apparently, people -- if you can call those over 35 that -- don't want to eat pizza anymore. At least, not the kind of junk served at Pizza Hut. This has the corporation's mandarins worried. They sat around a swank table and exclaimed, 'Holy crap, they don't want to eat junk anymore?! I wonder why?!' So they went and asked them (the 35-and-up geezers). And they said (and I quote):

one of the big things that would reignite their passion with the category is to have a pizza made with multigrain crust and an all natural tomato sauce...
All natural tomato sauce! Now, who'da thunk! After all the decades and billions of dollars we have spent convincing people that synthetic crap is good for them, those ingrates want to eat healthy, natural stuff! Oh, the nerve!

After the dust settled, the Chief Pizza Officer and his Condimental Lackeys decided to serve customers stuff that actually grows in the ground. Just to play it safe, they decided to change the corporation's name from 'Pizza Hut' to just 'The Hut'! Ain't that cool and all?! They did this, because ... wait for this ...
... that ties in nicely with (today's) texting generation.
Oh, yeah, it does! You see texting limits you to 140 characters, and we were able to knock off a whole 2 (two) characters from the name! We are so ingenious! Now, whenever people come across the 'vocabulary word' (which is what we call it) 'hut' they will immediately associate it with pizzas! Indeed, as they travel around, especially in the developing world, they will come across many huts, and just looking at them will immediately generate a craving for pizza, and they'll rush back home immediately for their favorite pie!

And then look at our real game changer ... a red-colored box! Now, that's a first in the pizza business! No more dull, brown boxes, but a brilliant lip-smacking red one, to get the gastric juices flowing.

Crap by any other name remains crap. Taste and smell are the most powerful senses that are hard to influence through the mind. There is innovation, and then there is stupid stuff like this. Pathetic. Some marketing consultants must be laughing all the way to the ATM.

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